There was a stage in my life when I didn’t think I would ever be writing these words. I thought it would be difficult to write, or even worse, that you would be right there next to me keeping me distracted – maybe to the end.
This is my final goodbye.
I still remember when we met, many years ago when you had your tentacles wrapped around every adult in my family. Those were different times, people liked having you around. You showed up before dinner, after dinner and even sat next to me on the way to school in the mornings.
I tried to ignore you and your games, I wasn’t even allowed to talk to you, even though I saw you everyday. But you intrigued me, you were always a part of my life, and so grown up and mature. You represented the good times, enjoyment and success. Everyone said so, all the time.
But then you became destructive. Heart attacks, cancer and strokes – you started taking away the ones I loved.
Almost everyone I knew who had any contact with you had shunned you, and I started forgetting, but never stopped hating.
You are a smart one, though, a true magician and master of disguise and as I grew up you changed your form. It was no longer the images of adventures in the snow or the rugged outdoors. You graduated to the night life, and were surrounded by music and drinking.
Before I knew it, your curse had resurfaced.
My first taste wasn’t even real, I was just pretending to like you for the sake of my friends and my insecurity. That was my first mistake. My second was telling myself that one or two a night was alright. After a few months, you were costing me more than money.
I saw you everyday, every hour of every day. You woke me up early and pretended to comfort me while I stood on the cold balcony. You left your stench everywhere I went, from my car to my office. Your infection had grown to the point where I was no longer in control.
And you stayed, even though I tried to get rid of you, time after time. I thought that slowly cutting down our time together would work, but you were happy with that because you knew you still had the control.
Until now. I have been building up my strenth. You might have thought that I have just been too busy too see you over the past few weeks. Or maybe you thought I was just on another crazy exercise regime.
The reality is, I have made up my mind. I feel good now. I’m running faster and I’m running longer, I wake up in the morning without your disgusting taste in my mouth and to top it off I’m saving money.
Please don’t get a big head about this letter, it’s not intended for you, besides you never had any power other than taking advantage of my weaknesses.
This is my affirmation, my reality, and you are no longer a part of it.